[SCENE: The Gaslamp Games Offices. THE NEW OFFICES. DAVID BAUMGART, ART DIRECTOR, enters the Break Room.]
David Baumgart, Art Director, enters the break room. Programmer Art Depiction.
DAVID: Wizards, grain silos, Utretcht, tank simulation… ah, it is good to be a vegan! Horrible frost giants! And now, lunch.
[DAVID opens the door of the fridge. Inside is BEEF JERKY, which leaps out and attacks him.]
DAVID: Alas! I die.
[HE COLLAPSES. Enter DANIEL and NICHOLAS from the Break Room Door.]
NICHOLAS: David is being attacked by beef jerky! It must be Wednesday. Quickly, get him onto the table.
[THEY DO SO. The table collapses. OH WELL.]
DANIEL: The beef jerky is … attacking his mind, somehow. It’s corrupting his vegan essence.
DAVID: I… deny then… my essence…
[SCENE: In David’s mind, terrible flashbacks occur. The company is formed in a basement. Dredmor ships.]
NICHOLAS: Fascinating.
DANIEL: You can’t say that – we’re parodying The Next Generation, not The Original Series.
NICHOLAS: Look! He’s remembering old blog posts… in his dreams.
[DAVID PROCEEDS TO REMEMBER.]
David Baumgart proceeding to remember happy memories (in this case, a carrot.) Programmer Art Depiction.
DAVID: mumble, mumble… Scott Pilgrim ruined it for all of us… mumble…
DANIEL: Now it looks like he’s experiencing good memories.
[DAVID PROCEEDS TO REMEMBER “GOOD MEMORIES”:
– Clockwork Empires’ Early Access Announcement
– That GDC trip where Stephanie got us all Hand Lotion
– Six months of early access updates!
– 4,700+ repository commits
– 22 experimental builds released to the public
– coverage from just about every major PC gaming site on the planet
– The Beauty of Poetry
– Whatever this thing is!]
DANIEL: It’s no good. The Beef Jerky is getting to him. Maybe if we make him… remember bad memories, it will damage the virus. Jerky. Jerky virus.
NICHOLAS: We can induce bad memories with Medicinal Liniments. Remember, under no circumstances take medical advice from me!DANIEL: Aren’t all those good memories *your* blog posts?
NICHOLAS: Whatever. Here, let me stick needles into his head.
[DAVID PROCEEDS TO REMEMBER “BAD” MEMORIES”:
– Making three Clockwork Empires Trailers
– That GDC trip where Stephanie got us all Hand Lotion
– The last time we parodied Inception]
DANIEL: Hang on, let me set this machine to “Programmer Art.” There we go.
[DAVID AWAKES, SCREAMING.]
David Baumgart Awakes from a Horrible Dream. (Also, he is wearing Mittens for some reason.) Programmer Art Depiction.
DAVID: What happened?
DANIEL: You’re on vacation, so we made fun of you in our year-end wrap-up blog post.
DAVID: Ah, it must be Wednesday!
NICHOLAS: That’s it for us, folks. As always, we thank you for your patronage and look forward to seeing you in 2015! Happy New Year!
DAVID: … who are you talking to again?
DANIEL: Gnomes!
[ALL LAUGH. CREDITS ROLL.]
Under the Influence (of Euclidean Distance Mapping)
First off, an announcement: customarily, we release new builds of CE (major ones) at the fifteenth of the month, or as close as we can get to that. This month’s build will be pushed back until next week, owing to the fact that we lost a week and a bit of development time in December due to the Fishmas Holidays; experimental builds will, of course, continue.
That said: Technical Talk Day.
Loosely speaking, this month’s patch is focused on doing spit and polish, maintenance on existing issues, and busting some bugs rather than new gameplay features (although we’ve done a bit of that). In terms of character behavior, you may have noticed that characters occasionally do things that are counter-intuitive; we are narrowing this down as development continues (Daniel has a huge and terrifying spreadsheet). We have received a number of bug reports of the following varieties:
“people wander off into the woods and die”
And, well, that’s about it, really.
Tangentially, here’s a tantalizing sneak peak at the promo illustration for this month’s update.
The solution to this is that people should calculate when they are, or are not, in the user’s colony. We previously did this with a notion of “civilization”, which computed (for each tile) the closest distance between the tile and any civilization in range. The problem is that the way this calculation was done was a) buggy (if a building was not within some radius of the square being tested, which was quite a small radius, we wouldn’t pick it up), and b) slow (using more than one square root per grid tile, which adds up on a 512×512 map.) I finally got sick and tired of this this week, and decided to look up the right way to compute distances.
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