In 2012 … Evil Has A Whole New Dimension
The stars are right, and you know what that means: It is the privilege and pleasure of Gaslamp Games to announce Dungeons of Dredmor II 3D, a sequel to the rather strange 2011 Indie Roguelike hit Dungeons of Dredmor (called Indie Game of the Year by the madmen of PC Gamer Magazine).
Suddenly, a pre-alpha screenshot appears! Click to view full size.
Like any respectable developer, Gaslamp Games acknowledges that once you’ve got something good, the only rational course of action is to beat yearly sequels out of the IP. Given that we could afford to hire some more artists and rustle up some Maya licenses, the obvious move was to take Dungeons of Dredmor in an entire new direction where we can explore additional, ahem, depths of gameplay yet unseen.
Dungeons of Dredmor II 3D Features
As an independent studio, Gaslamp Games is uniquely poised to create revolutionary new gameplay features that would be stifled in the publisher-dominated game industry. New features include:
- Entirely 3D dungeons built with procedural generation to create unique levels, traps, and puzzles sadistic enough to confound every John Urist!
- 600 bazillion damage types! Damage enemies with x-rays, phlegmatic damage, poking, subtraction, melancholia, insinuation, gluten magic, freemasonry, and liver!
- New, avant-garde soundtrack by experimental Japanese noise group Violent Onsen Geisha!
- Powered by the shocking return of a 2012 version of Ken Silverman’s Build Engine, used in such hit games as Redneck Rampage, Duke Nukem 3D, and Shadow Warrior!
- Eleventy quintillion cheeses, each with their own damage type! Includes your favourites (Churpi, Khoa, Paneer, Brimsen, Remoudoi, Sirene, Anari, Molbo, Danbo, Tybo, Handkäse, Weisslacker, Kaseri, Höfðingi, Skyr) and more!
- Use our in-app store to purchase Digglebucks to upgrade equipment, buy new inventory slots, and reverse negative Krongings!
- Play our awesome tie-in social and mobile games to increase “quest resources” to get the best ending!
- Dredmor 2 will use that one really annoying, unreadable font from Dredmor for everything, and not just the title text!
- Even smaller, more numerous and indecipherable stat icons!
- 3D-accelerated coloured lighting effects the likes of which haven’t been seen since the far side of 1998!
- You still can’t see what your character is wearing – because, well… the hell with it!
- Explore new challenging gameplay mechanics set in the Red Light District of Amsterdam!
- Collect a series of tiny, magical hats by mastering The Third Dimension!
- New, revolutionary, Artificial Stupidity technology makes previously smart monsters into gibbering morons!
- 98% More Indie than Other Competing Indie Roguelikes!
- Scads of Day-1 DLC include the ability to load and save games, and to have the ability to secretly save extra copies of your games in case you die suddenly with permadeath on!
- New Crafting Systems include Yogurt Making, Elven Drycleaning, Bavarian Crafts, and the Human Centipede!
- Cameo appearance by Famous British Person Peter Molyneux as Brax the Salesdemon!
- Get ****ed up on Mushrooms!
- Space Wizards!
Dredmor 2 will be launching on all fine Social Gaming Platforms near you. Have your credit cards ready.
I love you guys.
Oh god, oh god, oh god! Red Light Disctrict of Amsterdam! That’s what I’ve been waiting for YEARS!
“Cameo appearance by Famous British Person Peter Molyneux as Brax the Salesdemon!”
Gaslamp? Please, let me have your babies. All of your babies.
Space wizards? Again? Noooo!
This is the greatest thing since sliced lutefisk. I am so excited for this. I’ve been dredmoring since day one, then again with Diggle gods. I cannot wait for this ass kicking awesome! Is it seriously using the Build engine??? If so.. That is so freaking retro-awesome!
rofl
This might just be straight up cruel…or awesome. (Check the date, you guys).
I’m not even sure if they realise it yet… ^^^^
For the record, I would dig a 3d DoD (3DoD?)
Tag: Zynga is knocking at the door, send help
I love you Gaslamp.
OH MY (LUTEFISK) GOD.
Is what my initial reaction was, until I saw the time and date.
You lovable bastards.
I was genuinely excited, but I recognize the date. 😀
Nice April Fool’s gag.
YAHARRRR!
“At least it wasn’t ThrustyQuest.”
“Thrusty Quest”
😀
That was my reaction as well.
Sounds like that’d make a good ‘you are the monsters’ game set in the Dredmorverse.
You got me for a moment 😀
It looks awesome and You should do somethin with this joke 🙂 I want Dredmor II in 3d style as in screenshot 🙂
Please provide link so I can give you my moneys
Laughing from beginning to end. Where can I pre-order the dlc?
“Zynga is knocking at the door send help”
Your tags continue to slay me. Seriously, my wife just came downstairs to find out “what was wrong.”
I told her, “Sorry, dear, I was ROFLMAO.”
In any case, I love me some snarky satire, and this is brilliant.
HAR HAR HAR!
NOT THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE PUHLEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAZEEEEEEEEEEEEeee…
All sounds incredibly enticing! I’m especially impressed with just how indie this roguelike will be compared to the competition.
But my pressing question is: Exactly how much graphics will it have?
I believed it 🙁 than I remembered it was April Foold 🙁
This is such a cruel trick
You guys rock. You truly, absolutely rock.
I don’t care what date it is, I want it!
Why can’t this be for realz 🙁
OMG! Futurama’s Fry will say it better than I could
This one of the better today’s jokes 🙂
This *IS*
Damn, I failed at typing :-/
It was the Peter Molyneux line that did it. You’ve got me. I would give you money for this abomination. I’ve had enough of space wizards from SS13 though.
Dredmor running the BUILD engine? Now I feel bad for it being the first of April, since I’d give all my money away just to play a new BUILD game.
all of my lutefisk for Gaslamp
all of it
oh my stars and garters I have not had a laugh this good in weeks
I was believing it right until I read in-app store. Now I realize how lucky we are that Gaslamp doesn’t do this kind of thing.
Did it occur to anyone else that this mock-up might actually be our first full screenshot from within the Odin engine? 😀
Yes, it did. I thought of that, particularly because of the ingots/logs laying around in 3x stacks which are nowhere to be found in Dredmor.
I was beginning to be saddened by the low quality of other sites April Fool’s. This made my day.
-Use our in-app store to purchase Digglebucks to upgrade equipment, buy new inventory slots, and reverse negative Krongings!
this made me lol
Hahaha, you ALMOST got me XD Though it would be great if this happened eventually XD
Amusing. 🙂 Wonder how long it took anybody reading the above to realize it was a joke?
The “You bust some rhym[es]” in the text box in the bottom right corner of the screenshot is a great call back to an old Blizzard april fools joke that ended in an mp3 Deckard Cain “busting a rhyme”.
Scads of Day-1 DLC include the ability to load and save games, and to have the ability to secretly save extra copies of your games in case you die suddenly with permadeath on! Thats exactly what made me LOL. I know it was a April fools joke 😀
Pingback: April April (Gaming Edition) » tehK
You bastards!
I just wet myself! XD
[plays The Kinks “You Really Got Me”]
I know what date it is. But still, this is awesome.
wait… i figured it out! they put this up on April Fool’s day knowing we wouldn’t believe it, but the real joke is: they actually really are gonna do this 😮 those sly foxes
p.s. i would sacrifice at least 3 babies to the nearest Satanic Displacement Glyph if you really made this game…
I knew it as soon as I saw the post, but it is a well made April Fools joke.
Thank you for the laughs. 🙂
What’s great is that I could completely see about 50% of these features completely being real add-ons to DoD.
I’m first in line for the “Eleventy quintillion cheeses” DLC pack. 🙂
You had me until the digglebucks part. Curse you, I’m off to play more 2d Dredmor instead of getting excited over your lies.
Just sayin’… I’d buy it.
I’m throwing all of my money and lutefisk at the screen but it’s not working.
Shit, you got me… Just saw the date again. I was thinking humor in the article was just normal, not part of an april fools, fuuu.
*Cancelling the new thread i was doing on it*
I’m late to the party, but I have to say, this is the best gaming related April Fools I’ve seen. You covered all your bases, but most importantly, I was convinced for a second there!
THIS WAS CRUEL!!! I was reading this out loud to my boyfriend and we got so excited, and then he asked me what date this was published.
WHY!?!?
I HATE YOU!
I love you too, but my hate is far stronger.
I will have to at some point punch Matt your sound designer for this, as he is an old friend of mine, and he is the only person on your team i can feasibly actually reach out to and damage. 🙂
Omg I want thisssss (in an imitated Emporer-like voice).
Seriously, I just got my 3D laptop. This would probably be easy to REALLY support 3D (like.. with the glasses), wouldn’t have to do anything super-fancy. Consider it?