Patch 1.0.6 has now been sent to the beta testers. As soon as we get the all clear, we’ll fire it your way. Thanks for being so patient. (Beta testers: if you’re on WINE, you can try the Linux build too! Dump everything out of your Steam install with WINE, and you should be able to just run “./Dredmor”, a little shell script which autoselects the correct build, x86 or amd64. You may have to chmod +x some files, I’m not sure.) The Changelog is still as posted, with the exception of the addition of some additional support for the WASD controls (which now break more things, open more things, flip more things, and are generally more useful than ever before) and correct proc assignment to crossbows (if you have a crossbow with Thaumites, only your crossbow will shoot Thaumites.)

In other news, we ran a 140-character Twitter fanfiction contest last week on our Twitter feed (which you can read here if you are so inclined.) A selection of the entries, and the eventual winner, has been rounded up for your pleasure…

The Tom Clancy Award for Best Use of an Explosive:
Gently, the adventurer connected the last piece of his dwarven IED – so beautiful, so elegant, no one else could understand… – @xaosopher

The Stephanie Meyer Award for Best Romantic Scene:
Left Eyebrow wiggled suggestively at Right Eyebrow. “I love a hairy man,” cooed Right Eyebrow. It was a forbidden love. – @MissAnthrope_

The Harlequin Romance Novel for Best Romantic Scene (Adult Version):
The adventurer gazed across the trap filled room, to where the haughty Diggle laid upon a nest of straw. “I like a challenge.” – @DarkestKale

Best Crossover Fanfiction:
“Dr. F! A Resonance Cascade–!” As the Thrusties swarmed through the dimensional breach, he wished he’d stayed on the tram. – @AHUNGRYMOUTH

The Warren Ellis Award for Best Use of Capital Letters and Alcohol:
YOU NEED MORE MANA, DRINK MORE BOOZE. DRINK MORE UNTIL THE ENERGY COURSES IN YOU AND THE PAIN GOES AWAY DADDY PLEASE LOVE ME – @FrankYorkMorgan

The “WTF” Award:
and the last thing i ever saw was eight black dicks, sharpened to a point, thrust into my eyes over and over and over again – also @FrankYorkMorgan

The Haruki Murakami Award for best work of Sudden Philosophy in Postmodern Literature:
The Hero peered into the Horadric Cube. “Huh. What’s this do?” He poked his head inside. Then, very briefly, he understood. – @joeyheadset

The Quentin Tarantino Award for the best reference to Quentin Tarantino (amidst some stiff competition):
We’re here to do one thing and one thing only. Kill Diggles. You each owe me one hunnerd diggle scalps. – @Blasthardcheese

The Douglas Coupland Award for best fiction about the Development Process:
“No! I must kill the beta-testers!” he shouted The radio said “No, Brax. You are the betas” And then Brax was Lord Dredmor. – @FrankYorkMorgan

and our grand winner, split across three Tweets, is @FrankYorkMorgan’s fantastic parody of Edgar Allen Poe’s The Raven:

In a dungeon’s sanctuary, I saw a beast, so small and hairy,
standing near a nest of eggs and blocking off a wooden door
a “i hate you so much” bequeathed my axe to hand
and sword from sheath, spat blood upon the wooden door
My spores prepared, eyebrows a-flutter, I kicked apart these oaken doors
“OH SHIT, A ZOO!” … then nothing more.

Congratulations, Frank; you’ll find your tomb in 1.0.7.